Cookie

I knew this day was coming but I didn't know it would be this soon. I'm sorry I couldn't be there but you and I both know that it was in my best interest. God knew it would be to much for the both of us. Im happy that God answered my prayers and that you're home because now you're at finally at peace.
You finally get to get up, move around, dance and I get to see that big beautiful smile of yours. I laugh because I wonder if God allows s-curls in heaven? If so, i know you're getting a touch up by now! lol It's been awhile but I know you wanna look nice! :-) I know you're up there getting your nails done, ohh and let's not forget that pinky ring! I can just picture you with your dark purple lip stick just cheesing!
I'm reminiscing about the good times and just thinking about all the fun we had! Though there were bad times as well it didn't matter. Because we always made a way out of no way and i will always love you for putting up with me.
You will always be my pooh pooh and I will never forget you. I hope as the years go by that you continue to watch over me and that I always make you proud. You are my heart, my soul and now my angel! I love you Beulah Mae Lofton aka Cookie!!
R.I.P
11/30/50 - 12/26/12

God Opens and Shuts Doors

There are critical times in our lives when we especially need to know we are hearing clearly from God. It isn't always easy to know His voice from that of our own emotional reasoning. But I know from experience that God can open doors of opportunity that no one can close, and He can also close doors that we cannot open.

I spent many years trying to organize things I wanted to do in life. The result was frustration and disappointment. But I found that if we depend on God, He will give us favor and make things easy for us when we seek Him and His perfect timing. He leads one step at a time. If you take one step forward in the wrong direction, He will let you know before you go too far.

Be aware that His thoughts are above your thoughts. He sees the end from the beginning. All His ways are right and sure. He knows what makes sense for your life and He can make it happen. Hear from Him and you will not be deceived.

Prayer Starter: God, I trust You to open the right doors in my life and shut the wrong ones. Even when I don't know what to do, I have faith that I can hear from You and follow Your will.
- Joyce Meyer

Take Heed

Well at the moment I am feeling rather down. I started writing this blog a while ago and wanted to finish tonight. Good news is that I did finish and thought that it was a good blog, bad news is that it got deleted so now I have to write this over.

A few weeks ago I was talking to a friend about a topic that we were both familiar on. Somehow the topic switch to something else that was unrelated yet helpful. She was telling me how God had placed many warning signs in her life on various occasions. She also let me know how she gets these visions on things and people which I thought was interesting because I tend to have visions as well however mine are a little different. We continued to converse for a little longer before calling it a day. Overall I learned a serious lesson; Take heed of the things that God is showing you.

I chose the title "Take Heed" because there are so many warnings and signs that we fail to realize or just don't care to pay attention to at all. From waking up late, to car breaking down, the ambulance and police sirens, or even the flashing lights on the train tracks. Those are all warning signs that can help to save you from death or any kind of injure. Even simple things with our day to day routine can be warnings and signs from God.

Random thoughts

I just want to say that words cannot express how thankful I am. God did not have to choose me but He did. He shed His blood to forgive my sins. He loves me unconditionally and all I want to do is show that I am thankful. It is not easy, I fight a battle everyday with trying to do right and yet I fail every time but The Lord knows me. He knows what I do before I even do it and He still forgives me. Isn't that wonderful? And to think, with the way that I treat Him is horrible! Well let me not exaggerate, it isn't horrible but I know I can do better. I will, I have the heart to do so and I will make an even better effort to do so. Thank you Lord for all that you have done!!!

Prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, you have released me from the fear of death and the grave. You have also released me from the tyranny of the devil. Because you have redeemed me by your shed blood, lead me to live every day watching the signs and waiting for your glorious return. Amen.

Journal Challenge

Well as you all know that I’ve been going through some things. Well while reading and browsing the Internet I ran across Heather Lindsey's blog. She started the pinky promise movement that has become a big hit with women all over the world. The pinky promise is a promise to honor God with your body and your life. To refuse to give your body to anyone that hasn't paid the price for you called marriage. It's a promise to stay pure before God in EVERY single way. It's a promise that says, I won't test the boundaries in my relationship to see how far I can push it sexually--but instead--I want God to have my heart. It's a promise to God that you will honor your marriage covenant. It's saying that I promise not to step outside of my marriage, cheat on my spouse and that I'll work through every issue.

Well I became really interested in the movement because I wanted and yearned for my relationship with God to strengthen and to grow. Its been lacking and I’ve been feeling the effects of it. So I signed up for the group and I’ve been participating in the discussions and found that there are a few movements nearby (Grand Rapids, Ann Arbor, etc…) So over all it have been very beneficial for me.

Okay back to my original thought. While researching all this information I found an interesting blog… “Journal Challenge.” Well it caught my attention so I read the blog and thought about it. Get that vie been going through a lot emotionally and I needed my relationship with God. Well to let all of you know what the “Journal Challenge” is: a way to communicate with God daily. It allows you to think, feel and write our "day" that we're on. This aint for show'-- it's us, spending time with God daily & letting Him change us from the inside out. Writing the day on your journal is ONLY for accountability. Seems fun right? Well I thought so, and right now I’m on day three. I think really taking the time out to focus on God is a wonderful day to start and end out day right. It’s the only way and to be honest I feel lost when I step away from God. Though I am not perfect or near perfect, I know what I need to do and where I’m heading! If you want to learn more about the Journal Challenge go to: http://heatherllindsey.blogspot.com/2012/04/join-journal-challenge.html

Ohh and by the way for my lovely Sorors of Z Phi B there is a group for us àààà http://www.pinkypromisemovement.com/group/pinky-promise-zeta-phi-beta#

Well I hope you all enjoy! Until next time

Peace! 

Lost

Today I felt like writing because there has been a lot on my mind. I think about stuff daily but because of my ADHD I tend to lose focus often. It gets really irritating at times when I forget things or lose focus quickly. Times like this are why I don't get things done often, but because of my calendar and phone I set reminders daily. Cool right? Yeah I know we depend on our phones so much!! Anyways back to why I wanted to write today. Lately I’ve been feeling lost. I haven't really talked to anyone about it because there aren't many people that I can talk to. I feel like I’m always being judged especially by my so-called friends, or the people who are around. I know there are people out there that I’ve encountered who are here to help; I just don't take that initiative because I feel intimidating. But I really think I’m going to take them up on that offer because I know that they have been in my shoes at one point in life. 

Dealing with family, school, and my so-called social life it gets frustrating and at times too much. There is so much on my plate that at times I don't know what to do with it all. Trying to stay focused with school and graduation, yet help others, and STILL try to be accepted by society. I know I know I know, we shouldn't be worried about what society think but you still have that need to want to be accepted by your peers. It's natural to want to conform to society and not look like an outsider. We all do it at one point in our lives. 

When you're going through a lot you tend to feel lonely and lost. There seems to be so much coming at you from different directions and yet no one to turn too. That's how I feel. People claim that they are here for you and have your best interest at heart but at the first chance they'll talk about you just like they talk about everyone else or they'll change and act like you've done something wrong. Having that feeling is not good, especially when you lack the faith that God has given you. Growing up I never really got that attention and love that I’ve always wanted. People constantly loved and left me. From family to friends it was a never-ending circle. I'd get my hopes up constantly and eventually stopped caring. Having that fear of people not really caring about me or even loving me, kept me to myself often. It also started hindering a lot of relationships because I was so naive and distant. Up until this day whenever I go through a lot I tend to distant myself from people and though it may "hurt" others I do it to protect myself from being hurt again. But anyways.... 

I've come to the conclusion that since I’ve been lacking in faith my relationship with God hasn't been the best and I know that when you are not in line with God then yes you will feel incomplete and lost. I've been consistent in my prayer life but not have much as I should be, if that makes any sense. I haven't been spending that intimate time with Him and it's affecting my everyday life. I need to get back on track and stop focusing trying to please others. Stop trying to be accepted by everyone when those people don't even matter. I'm focusing on my relationship with God and myself. That's what truly matters in my life. People will always come and go in your life but God will always be there and will never change. He's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow! 

Lastly, I’ve learned to appreciate those who are genuine and consistent in your life. Through the good and the bad my mother, grandmother and nana have always been there and though my grandmother cannot verbally express it I know she is proud of me as well. I do what I do for them and to realize all the love and care they give it's hard to miss. I just wish things were better and that it didn't take this long. After talking and just thinking, clearing my mind, I received clarity and I know what I have to do in order to get the peace and joy back in my life. Just like I make time for everything else I need to make time for God. It's necessary for my existence and I know without God I wouldn't have anything nor would I be here today. He is the reason for my existence and no words could ever express how thankful I am of that. I would also like to thank my future, he knows who is! :-)

Thanks for reading.... until next time! 

Peace

Love

Lately I’ve been thinking about the thought of being in love. It amazes me how the feeling can over power us making us feel like we are on top of the world. Seeing couples and listening to love songs I get to thinking what if I was in love, like TRULY in love. Honestly I don't think I’ve ever been in love, being young and naive I’ve confused it many times with lust. 

Love, Lust, Like, Being IN Love. Differences, similarities, do we REALLY know or are we just going off experience and our own beliefs? Love, Love, Love is an intense feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection. Lust, Lust is an intense sexual desire or appetite. Like is to regard with favor, to have a kindly or friendly feeling for a person, group, etc., or simply to find attractive. But being in love, being IN love with someone is completely different; you tend to have a strong bond with that person. 

Complication

“I know sometimes you feel you're battling an army just to love me more

Trust me baby imma do you better

Cause I can't lose the one thing that holds me together you’re my core

Someone I can call on forever”

Daydreaming about you here loving me

Showing me everything that we could ever be

I wanna show you and give you all of me cause you are my world

I know you are unsure but baby believe me actions do speak louder than words

Lately things have been a little crazy trust me it’ll get better

Let’s show the world that you and I were meant to be forever

Blessed to have you here in my life

Through thick and thin, break ups and makes ups we gone be all right

I want to show and prove to you, do my best to please you

You should know that I’m in love with you don’t want nobody else but you

The only thing that makes sense in my life

Things wouldn’t be perfect if I couldn’t be here as your wife

I wanna be there to pull you together when you feel like you about to fall apart

I’m making up for the loving that I never gave before

I would do whatever it takes to keep you here by my side

Me without you just wouldn’t be right.

It's amazing how my love just takes me away

keeps me sane when all the pain seems to wanna stay

walking to class singing that same old tone

with every word that is said it changes me mood

No matter how long i stay mad once i turn you on nothing else matter's 

MARRIAGE UNDER REPAIR Written by: Diane Patterson Onuntuei

I saw him pull her hair

And then punch her face.

Oh my God, what has gotten

Into this human race?

Oh man, don’t you know

That is not the way you should care

For the woman that you loved and married,

You know that is not fair.

The bible says you should cherish

And love your wife,

Just as you love yourself

But it appears that you yourself need help.

And my dear little sister,

Why do you provoke your man

And push him to the end

Where he can no longer stand?

You are supposed to submit

Yourself to your husband,

And reverence him through,

And be kind, and loving, and true.

We have to make some

Changes in this here life

So there can peace

Between husbands and wives!

What are the children going to say?

What are they going to do

When they find out that mommy and daddy’s

Relationship is through?

Then as they grow up and try to start anew,

What do you think they will do?

You can do better husband and wife

If you let God show you how to forgive and do it right.

I know that she may have hurt you

And I know that he may have been wrong

But God says what He has joined together,

Man should not pull apart

Therefore, you need to forgive

From deep within your heart

And then take a new stand

And look at each other again

And say: I truly love you dear,

I didn’t mean to hurt you,

But I was ravaged with anger and fear.

Come my darling; let us try again,

But this time we will do it with Him

I know that we can win.

Let us humble ourselves before God

And pray day and night.

We don’t have to have a broken marriage

But we can win this fight.

Dear God: we ask You to forgive us

For the foolish things we have done.

And now we want to try love again,

But this time with your Son.

Help us through the hard times

As we seek Your holy face;

And help us through the good times

To give You all of the praise for your grace.

This institution of marriage

May not be easy all of the time

But it is certainly not a time to continually whine.

God intended that man should not live alone

So don’t give up your good thing,

But cherish her in your home.

She is the weaker sex and

God made you the head.

Therefore you should stand strong

And let the family be led

In a godly way, teach them to stand and pray,

And be an example for the children.

Then you will look forward to fulfilled years

With minimized tears and you will give God all of the glory.

“. . . What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matt.19:6).

(Diane’s website: www.godslove247.com